(I’m kinda noticing that I post too much about me not entering the 2014 RSPC. I think that it maybe becoming redundant. But then again, I can’t remove it from my mind. And this is my blog, so I get to write what I want. #sorrynotsorry. Kidding. HAHA)
Letting go can be hard. You invest so much time and emotions in them that it will seem like you’re wasting gold and diamonds once you learn to move on. That’s what makes the process scary.
Picture yourself as the lead in an old-time, black and white musical film. Take Singin’ in the Rain for example. Now take your place in that iconic rain singing scene. But this time, make it somber.
Just so you know one of the current roles I’m juggling.
The first song in the playlist is Cassadee Pope’s cover of Gavin de Graw’s Not Over You. Every word hits me straight in the heart. Especially the chorus.
“If you ask me how I’m doing
I would say I’m doing just fine
I would lie and say
That you’re not on my mind”
Admittedly, the pain of my loss in DSPC still stings hard. Not that I’m a bitter loser. Contests have always been my escape from the four restricting corners of the classroom; so what gets me is that I won’t get to escape to Angel’s Hills in Tagaytay (which I fell in love with last year). I won’t get to see my NSPC friends from Palawan and Marinduque.
The loss dealt a big blow on my confidence. Doubt overshadows everything I do then after. It still haunts me every night, keeping me awake.
However, there’s a follow-up to “Not Over You”. And it’s Pink’s “Try”.
I heard that song again as I watched Pink’s performance during the 56th Grammys. It blew the roof off the place. Her acrobatics, her voice and her contemporary dance justified Pink as an all-around powerhouse performer.
But what moved me in her performance was the words itself.
“Where there is desire, there is gonna be a flame
Where there is a flame, someone’s bound to get burned
But just because it burns, doesn’t mean you’re gonna die
You gotta get up and try, try, try”
It all made sense now. I do desire and am passionate about writing. I was burned. But I should not let it drown me out. I should get up and try.
The Lord probably has better plans for me. Maybe he has something better in store. As the first line to Imagine Dragons’ Amsterdam reminds me, “your time will come, if you wait for it.”
The act ended with the rain slowly dissipating. It hasn’t completely gone yet, but like me, it’s still taking baby steps.
Time heals all wounds. But what was never written was the scars that these wounds leave. They may seem not that attractive at first, but looking at them will always remind you that you have survived the test.